The Simple Rule

Never trust a man with your body or a woman with your mind.

Alone

Sometimes I get tired of all these people not fighting over me.

She Likes Me

My flatmate's mum likes me. Apparently I'm "not so tall, unlike so many people these days."

Carrots

How do they work?

Never Forgotten

I don't think a colleague of mine will ever forget the time he was under massive pressure, working really hard, hyper-stressed and came into our office only to find me browsing wikipedia trying to find out if ants have arse-holes or not. (It turns out they do, but certain types of starfish do not).

Precious Moments

A colleague noted that on the easter eggs brought for us by the company is the marketing slogan "Take time to capture every precious moment, with a hollow chocolate egg [...]". What a wonderful view on life Cadbury has.

Confusing iPod

My iPod decided to play a song called 'No One Knows' followed by another called 'Everybody knows'. What is it trying to tell me?